Hillary Clinton and The Spirit of the Law

What difference does it make if you know her?

A media-kerfuffle has exploded following relative political newby Hillary Clinton, apparently a former New York Senator and previous Secretary of State. Don’t worry if you haven’t heard of her, even though rumors are abound that she might run for president in 2008 2012 2016.

Apparently, Clinton (D) has been criticized for conducting her Secretary of State business from a private e-mail address, HDR@Clintonemail.com. She created a “Homebrew” e-mail server, which is fine, if you want to send spam for your Etsy business to your coworkers without letting Betsy in HR know that you spend 6 hours a day making Heart-Shaped potpourri containers on Angie List’s dime. However, if you are trying to abide by the Freedom of Information Act, then no. That is clearly not okay. (Neither is the potpourri side-hustle, but keep it on the DL).

But don’t worry. In an effort to save face do the rightest thing, Clinton (who may be related to a former president? Damn, she sounds familiar) gave a press conference explaining that she is going to turn over all of the e-mails. I mean half of the e-mails. Because apparently 30,000+ were personal. About yoga, wedding dresses, and e-mails to Bill. (What? Bill Clinton claims he’s only sent two e-mails during his presidency? Wait ’til he sees his inbox!) But she poured through them all in a matter of days to determine what was important and what was personal and handed them over to the State Department. By printing them out on paper and handing over the paper to the state department.

"Hillary,"  he said with a angry fit. "I am the Lorax and that's some low-down shit"
“Hillary,” he said with a angry fit.
“I am the Lorax and this is some shady-ass shit”

Thirty thousand e-mails. Printed. I’d imagine majority are on one sheet of paper, but surely some take two pages. So thirty thousand pages of paper or more. Paper which was electronic. Paper that is not easily searched. Paper that, of course, will need to be scanned with text recognition software in order to be added to the big file of all documents ever in the government. Paper that assuredly will need to be shredded first because it could contain State secrets. Paper that makes the Lorax pissed as hell at the hypocrite wing of the Democrat party. (Need more info? Stop by Al Gore’s Mansion).

And in the process, Hillary stolded (that’s when you told and scolded the American public at the same time, kind of like Presidentsplaining) America that she complied with “both the letter and the spirit of the law.”

Let me drop a heaping helping of funksplaining on you: whenever someone claims they followed the spirit of the law, they didn’t. The whole point of mentioning the spirit of the law is to bring attention to the fact that, on occasion, things are legal and also wrong. Hillary Clinton, in the best case scenario, found a loophole, but at no point, when she conducted State business on a private server that only she, Bill, and the pool boy Marco had access to, when she obfuscated documents in the midst of the investigation of the cover-up in Benghazi that left four Americans dead, when she took it upon herself to parse through her own e-mails and hand over what she considered State business and what she deemed unimportant, did she follow the spirit of the law. And in a country where the Constitution is an afterthought and the Clintons are a by-word for business-as-usual, the spirit of the law doesn’t need this abuse.

At least the NSA assuredly saved all of those e-mails, along with everything else ever written ever. Oh God, did I just say that?

Brian Gross is funky as usually. Support him by sharing this blog before he goes back underground.