Obama Phones!

Are any of my Cleveland Readers currently in between phones? Well, I have an exciting offer for you!

That’s right, for the low, low price of your vote, you can get an ObamaPhone! Does not require knowing any of the issues, any real concern for the country or an ounce of civic duty. All you have to do is “Keep Obama in President”[sic].

During a grassroots movement from local Clevelandites, the woman who surely must be the groups public relations chairperson expressed her exuberance for Obama’s pro-phone policy, while dismissing Romney for his recent “sucking” stance. The display must surely represent the best of Cleveland’s engagement in the political process.

Oh, wait. It wasn’t a Grassroots movement, the protesters were in fact paid. And at $11/hr, you’d think that there would be plenty of Graduate Students lined up around the block who could better articulate themselves (and maybe follow up by studying the event for seven years before accepting that full-time position in Starbucks). But this was in fact a paid protest in which the protesters did more to hurt their cause than help, and to demonstrate the exact attitude eating away at the virtues of our country.

Consider for a second what programs she listed off that qualify one for an Obama phone: Food stamps, Social Decurity, Disability. All of these are considered Entitlement programs intended originally to serve as a safety net (now it’s a safety hammock, no rush to get up). Entitlement, as in “you are owed something.” This seems in itself a contradictory understanding of being an America; we are clearly entitled to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. And that is about it.

I can’t wait for that tasty, tasty liberty. And those Obama phones. -George Washington

The point is, will we mark this on our Calendars as the day that liberty died? Probably not, but we should mark it as a day that Liberty took a good ball kicking. This represents the absolute lowest common denominator in politics, when the voters think primarily about who can immediately give them the most stuff. Never mind the freedoms being eagerly handed away when the government is your provider, how can we as a free country be able to afford to keep pace with the precedent? What if they start asking for iPhones?

An educated voter realizes that nothing is free. That phone is not free, and I’m not just talking about the fact that our taxes are going pay for the luxuries of others. The esteemed woman in the above video took that phone at the cost of her own autonomy, and the unfortunate thing is that she does not realize it.

So when you listen to the Mitt Romney video in which he decries the state of the 47%, think to yourself this: “Does the Obamaphone woman care that Mitt will cut income taxes? Does she care that he will bring fiscal discipline to the White House? Does she care about the state of the Republic, the weakening role of the constitution, or the future we the entitled people are leaving for our children?”

I’m going to guess not, but it is not her fault. The Federal Government has created this type of voter. It has bore its teet for anyone to suckle, without incentivizing autonomy. Oh, no, the government hates autonomy, because autonomy means that you might fail. Better not to try at all. Forget that failure could summarize Abraham Lincoln’s career before his presidency.

It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to not have a phone. It’s okay to have to work for yourself. By your own bootstraps stories are better without the asterisk, act accordingly.

Brian Gross is a professional failure and almost written countless books about it. Support his blog so he can get one of those cool Obama Phones.


2 thoughts on “Obama Phones!

  1. Mike

    Contrary to repub propaganda, Obama didn’t start this. The Lifeline program originated in 1984, during the administration of Ronald Reagan; it was expanded in 1996, during the administration of Bill Clinton; and its first cellular provider service (SafeLink Wireless) was launched by TracFone in 2008, during the administration of George W. Bush. All of these milestones were passed prior to the advent of the Obama administration.

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