President Eye Candy

On Tuesday, with foreign ambassadors and leaders coming to a summit at the U.N. (to talk about high ideals that no one has any intention to live to), President Obama made it his intentions smooth over the relations with a little known country made up primarily of Harpy Women.

Oh god! They’re worse than I imagined.

Actually, no, these are apparently women, human women, in our country. It’s “The View,” and from almost watching a clip of it, my understanding is that all the “women” on the show make the loudest barnyard noises they can think after they take Barbara Walters out of her frozen tomb and pump her full of uppers. Someone said that Rosie O’Donnell used to be on it and I threw up all my coffee back into my coffee.

And these were the… things… President Barack Obama decided were more important to visit than any foreign leader coming into New York. No, I know what you’re thinking: he did not go to banish them with the help of an old Catholic Priest back to Beezlebub’s lair in the deepest pits of hell. He went to “talk” to them.

During the interview, Obama referred to himself as “just eye candy here” (don’t give them any ideas, I’m sure they’d peck the eyes right out!) and I think it was the first piece of hard journalism Barbara Walters has been involved in since covering the Emancipation Proclamation.

After the gaff of snubbing Israeli President Netanyahu in order to make time for David Letterman, one would think that President Obama would make time to visit all those Middle East Leaders he made such a fuss apologizing to after the election. This year marks the first time in 20 years the sitting president did not meet with other heads of State. While Hillary Clinton is stepping into the role of greeter to foreign leaders, the president reveals that he’s a good, no, great, smile on a person on a ballet.

The current face of U.S. Foreign Policy. I don’t blame you, Hillary, I feel like I need a drink, too.

And this post is in no means to bash Clinton in her current role. For good or ill, Hillary has been the only member of the president’s cabinet who has been tireless in her job and honestly probably the only source of credibility in a gang of academic goons. But there is distinct differences between meeting a Secretary to the President of the United States and meeting the President of the United States.

Towel-Boy Jay Carney answered that if the President met with one foreign leader, he would need to meet with ten. Sometimes I want to smack that 47 year old boy upside the face: isn’t that his job? Isn’t that the whole god-damned point of a President?

So President Eye Candy goes on The View, shirking his foreign relation responsibilities after, you know, that whole Ambassador being killed in a “friendly” state we helped create thing. Do you think that meeting with the Libyan President, who has repeatedly affirms that the attack was solely an Al Qaeda driven plot, could help clarify this point to the President, who as late of Wednesday still vilifies the video as the culprit? Do you think that the looming threat of a double-dip recession and inflamed tensions would be good enough reason to pull out some of that “charm ” I hear Barack-You didn’t build that-Obama is famous for?

When he did go infront of the U.N., of course he made up for it with a consistent, strong message for the rest of the world admire, right? Well, no, he just explained his interventionist policies in Syria and Libya while spouting platitudes he probably memorized off a poster of a whale leaping. Here are the top 5 from that speech.

5.They should remind us that so long as we work for it, justice will be done, that history is on our side, and that a rising tide of liberty will never be reversed

4.True democracy demands that citizens cannot be thrown in jail because of what they believe, and that businesses can be open without paying a bribe. (Unless you make a video of Mohammed or  work in the Healthcare industry).

3.In every culture, those who love freedom for themselves must ask themselves how much they’re willing to tolerate freedom for others. (Well I’ll be damned)

2.We must seize this moment, and America stands ready to work with all who are willing to embrace a better future. (Any takers?)

1.The road is hard, but the destination is clear. (Profound).

Ear Candy. Coupled with Eye Candy, he’s all the makings of a real President.

Taxpayer reader, you’re the boss. By the People, For the People, that actually means something. And you just caught your employee Barry chatting up the honeys on Facebook, phoning in his work while neglecting his obligations (and believe me, he’s a repeat offender). What are you going to do?

As a real testament to the effect this type of behavior, consider what the King Abdullah II said on the Jon Stewart show, that we’re making too big a deal out of him not being able to meet with the President. At least you’ll be able to tell your kids one day that it used to be a big deal for foreign leaders to meet with the Leader of the Free World. (And when pogs were the sh*t). Abdullah didn’t need to sit with Obama to hear his Whale Poster B.S., and you don’t have to reelect him for it.

Brian Gross is a long time Pen Pal of King Abdullah, who has yet to write back. Support him by sending this article to 3 of your dearest enemies.


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